It’s like the grown-ups stormed back into the apartment where they cook True Blood and got a dramatic close-up and said ‘playtime’s over kids, this is how we make a TV show about vampires.’
This week we got precious little ifrit nonsense and seemingly wrapped up the hate group plotline in record friggin’ time. In fact a whole lot of plot sorting out got done, like this week’s writing team heard the wailing and gnashing of teeth and made things good again. THERE’S EVEN A THEME, Game of Thrones-style, to whit, examining the relationships of one’s past, and it’s probably no coincidence that this is also the tightest episode of TB this season. The good this week: Lafayette, everything to do with Sookie/Jason, finding a helpful solution to the Luna problem, making Deputy Kevin a regular feature, LAFAYETTE, naked Alcide, Momma Pam, and this guy:
So let’s talk about Lala. Regular readers of this humble column will have noted my dismay at how crappily he has fared plotwise ever since he made the fatal mistake of trying to find happiness, and I do adhere to Vulture’s Lafayette Theory about his involvement, although I would add that the more flawless he gets to be, the more enjoyable the episode. And he was without flaw this week. His scene in the car with the healing blood and the ghost Jesus was just perfect, sad and touching and unusually real for the show, while his dismissal of Arlene and Holly was Lala back to his best in a way not seen since year one. And the séance in full Miss Cleo voodoogarb and greatly exaggerated grammatical deviation not only got the goshdarned ifrit plot to the pointy end but did so while taking attention away from that one guy from Scrubs.
In the fairy side of town, Jason continues to be the coolest dude by reminding Sookie of why she needs to keep a good stock of fairy majjyx in her handbag while taking on the vampire who killed their parents. It was almost disappointing to find out that the culprit wasn’t one of the current vampire roster but some dude called Warlow who makes a poorly-rendered ghostface appearance in Sookie’s kitchen. But this week did give occasion for Sooks to do a pretty killer English accent, and adding further evidence that a corollary to the Lafayette Theory is the Goofy Sookie Theory. Love it.
Also worth applauding is Sam Trammell’s performance as Luna!Sam, girlwalking and crying up a storm in a plotline that gained some much-needed silliness and forewent some much-boring Luna. I just can’t emphasise enough how inspired an idea this is, and how well executed it was. Every Sam/Sam scene notched a warmhearted chuckle AND MADE SENSE within the episode’s plotlogic. Also registering my vote for a Sam Merlotte: Animal Detective spinoff. Elsewhere in the Hate Crime Plotline Hoyt gets a room to himself to confront his old beau Jessica Hamby, where they finally have a talk about their ended relationship, with Jess completely powerless and literally in chains, which was kinda horrible to watch. Anyway, Hoyt releases her but also tells her to fuck herself, so any time you want to shuffle Hoyt off the mortal, feel free TB.
The werewolves finally have their contest for packmaster, which involves hunting down a high school track athlete because of reasons. Anyway, it’s so boring I literally had to watch the episode again to remind myself what happened, which is that Alcide loses but doesn’t get killed and JD gives up vampire blood maybe. No word on what happened to the runner dude. Also Alcide had sex with Random McFacetime and we all watched.
It took a total strawman character to do it, but I’m finally sold on the Tara/Pam rship. A high school rival turns up to Fangtasia and antagonises Tara into threatening her with death. Pam gives her a lecture in public but later on glamours the fugly blonde lady with the four bedroom house and a BMW (hdu, fugly lady) and presents her locked up in chains in the suspiciously underused cellar space beneath the bar. I mean I’m sure real estate isn’t exactly at a premium in Bon Temps but at least install a chill out room or somesuch. Tara looks at Pam as if she’s been given a pony for Christmas and Pam busts out the best line of the episode. Good work you guys. Hope this goes somewhere long-term.
It’s a little sad to see how hard the Vampireline has hit the rocks since Meloni was discontinued. It’s slightly saved by this little gem from Russell/Newlin, which is very appropriately interrupted by Salome and her Lilith business. Terrible Nora’s Terrible Childface is all over this plotline now, and I anxiously anticipate her true death. She basically tells Eric that Godric is full of it, thus giving him a perfect excuse to drop her like Roman’s blooddrenched polo shirt. Meanwhile, Bill certainly appears to be turning heel on us with his plan to bomb the Tru Blood factories, which, as you’ll recall, are the sole producers of synthetic blood in the country. The fact that no one came up with this intricate and subtle plan before further convinces me that the sanguinistas are the stupidest douchemonkeys on the planet. So has Bill finally turned against the humans? Seems out of character, but he was extremely high earlier so who knows.
- This week’s flashback is brought to you by Douchebag Bill. Tells dying daughter he has the secret to immortality. Refuses to give her that secret.
- Andy continues his run of creative cusses, and does some nice good cop/bad cop with Detective Sam.
- The faeries look increasingly like extras from the Safety Dance video.
- The end titles song was the one by Elliott Smith! Either they’re being clever-clever or couldn’t afford the new one.
Very strong episode! Things got moving in totally the right direction for most of the plotlines, and actually achieved a semblance of closure with a couple. I’m very proud of you, True Blood. Bring me more Lafayette next week and you can eat at the grown ups table.
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