[13:11:37] Dave: you find yourself in the burnt ruins of a two storey office building. It is DESERTED. There are exits NORTH and DOWNSTAIRS. There appears to be ruined electronics and stationary scattered around. What do you do?

[13:12:06] Jac: I construct a dart gun out of wire from the electronics and a discarded pen

[13:12:12] Jac: then sneak downstairs

[13:12:43] Dave: you construct the dart gun using your ACE MAGYVER SKILLS and head DOWNSTAIRS

[13:13:04] Dave: there are doors OUTSIDE and to a KITCHEN. Both appear DESERTED

[13:13:27] Jac: i hop by the kitchen and pick up one skillet and food

[13:13:33] Jac: then head outside

[13:13:41] Dave: you head to the KITCHEN

[13:13:47] Dave: there is a MOUSE

[13:13:55] Dave: it has the SKILLET

[13:14:14] Jac: I stab mouse with pen, take skillet

[13:14:26] Dave: roll for STAB

[13:14:28] Jac: it will make a fine and hefty weapon

[13:14:28] Jac: 5

[13:14:41] Dave: you roll 5 out of a possible 20

[13:14:52] Dave: your pathetic flailing only ENRAGES the MOUSE

[13:15:03] Dave: it BITES your shoes

[13:15:16] Dave: fortunately it is only a MOUSE and you take no damage

[13:15:21] Jac: while it’s disctracted I take skillet and smash mouse

[13:15:28] Dave: roll for SMASH

[13:15:33] Jac: 12

[13:16:03] Dave: you heft the mighty skillet skywards and bring it down on the unsuspecting MOUSE mightily

[13:16:12] Dave: MOUSE is defeated

[13:16:19] Dave: your SKILLET levels up

[13:16:29] Jac: I take my skillet prize and head outside with food

[13:16:36] Jac: in my trusty bag of holding

[13:16:54] Dave: you take FOOD and place it in the BAG of HOLDING. It now HOLDS your FOOD

[13:17:16] Dave: you also gain a new perk: IRON CHEF

[13:17:30] Dave: you now deal x2 damage with KITCHEN APPLIANCES

[13:17:37] Dave: you head OUTSIDE

[13:18:12] Dave: you are in a street. There are exits to the NORTH, SOUTH, WEST and INSIDE. Abandoned CARS litter the narrow alleyways

[13:18:20] Dave: it’s like RACCOON CITY but WORSE

[13:18:45] Jac: OK, we’re going in the opposite direction from the main cluster of cars

[13:18:57] Dave: you head NORTH

[13:19:41] Dave: there is a main street. to the NORTH there is a GROCERY. beside it there’s an OFF LICENSE. there is no sign of movement anywhere.

[13:20:28] Jac: we’re going to go to the off license to pick up the highest proof alcohol they have and a few adult magazines to trade to survivors later

[13:21:25] Dave: you approach the OFF LICENSE. Inside there is a FIGURE slumped across the COUNTER. You use your high MEDICINE skill to ascertain no discernable wounds. Silence pervades.

[13:21:47] Dave: in the distance, a DOG barks.

[13:22:19] Jac: not going to startle the off license man

[13:22:27] Jac: silently sneak out with alcohol and adult magazines

[13:22:32] Jac: putting them into bag of holding

[13:22:43] Dave: you grab the BOOZE and TITTY MAGS

[13:22:47] Dave: the BAG is HOLDING them

[13:23:09] Dave: as you open the DOOR the BAG, still HOLDING, CLINKS NOISILY

[13:23:17] Dave: the FIGURE STIRS

[13:23:21] Dave: “hhhhhhhh”

[13:23:28] Dave: “hhhhheeeeyyy”

[13:23:31] Jac: I continue to sneak out, ignoring dude

[13:23:52] Dave: “you didn’t pay for those you diiiiiiiiiiick….hurk”

[13:24:07] Dave: the OFF LICENSE MAN is DEAD. you lose 1 KARMA point

[13:24:16] Dave: he was a COOL GUY

[13:24:47] Jac: but now I have a way to light things on fire.

[13:25:00] Jac: can I go by the grocery and get hair spray and matches now?

[13:25:08] Dave: you go to the GROCERY

[13:25:16] Dave: it has been extensively LOOTED

[13:25:36] Dave: however, there appears to be some remaining SUNDRIES in the HOUSEHOLD SECTION

[13:25:46] Jac: awesome! flamethrower here I come

[13:25:52] Jac: let’s go to the household section

[13:26:20] Dave: you go to the HOUSEHOLD SECTION ALONE. you can’t imagine who this LET’S is.

[13:26:32] Dave: you WONDER if the weeks of SOLITUDE ARE GETTING TO YOU

[13:26:54] Jac: I’m good, let’s pick this stuff up

[13:28:04] Dave: in the HOUSEHOLD SECTION there are toilet rolls, tobacco pouches, a plunger, deoderant, shampoo, and in the corner, a box of matches with an INTERESTING LOGO. There is no sign of HAIR SPRAY

[13:28:32] Dave: you pick up the MATCHES

[13:28:51] Dave: the logo INGTRIGUES you. Investigate?

[13:29:05] Jac: might as well

[13:29:18] Dave: you DON your FEDORA of SLEUTHING

[13:29:46] Dave: there is a note. MEET ME IN OCEAN TERMINAL – S

[13:30:29] Dave: you have earned a new perk: MAGYVER’S APPRENTICE

[13:30:40] Dave: you can now make AWESOME WEAPONS out of ALMOST NOTHING

[13:30:53] Jac: woot

[13:31:18] Jac: I’m going to need to get some cans then so i can make a fishhook in order to supply me food

[13:31:53] Dave: there are EMPTY CANS on the FLOOR. you put them in the BAG of HOLDING, which now HOLDS a LOT

[13:33:11] Jac: no, I’m draining them and flattening them delicately

[13:33:12] Jac: to save space

[13:33:21] Jac: and scrap metal is always handy

[13:33:39] Dave: you CONVERT the CANS into SCRAP METAL

[13:33:52] Jac: cool, are there any forks and knives around too?

[13:34:00] Dave: the BAG of HOLDING would leap for joy if it wasn’t JUST A BAG

[13:34:12] Dave: you find a box of SPORKS

[13:34:34] Jac: leave them

[13:35:05] Jac: ok, I have all the food and materials I need, will eventually need to get a multitool, but that can wait

[13:35:08] Jac: leaving the store

[13:35:41] Dave: you leave the STORE. to the WEST is DOWNTOWN. EAST is OCEAN TERMINAL

[13:36:08] Jac: ocean terminal has nothing

[13:36:21] Jac: let’s go downtown, we’ll have to go downtown to leave the city

[13:36:29] Dave: you head DOWNTOWN

[13:36:30] Jac: I would say take a boat out, but I’m only one person

[13:37:52] Dave: on the main road there are clearly a DOZEN OR SO HUMANS. they appear to NOT BE ZOMBIES. you have not yet been noticed. to the NORTH is the old RAILWAY DEPOT. to the SOUTH is an OUTDOOR SUPPLIES STORE. to the EAST is the HUMANS

[13:38:30] Jac: let’s go to the railway depot

[13:38:40] Jac: outdoor supplies store will be looted by now

[13:38:56] Dave: you go down the DARK and PROBABLY UNSAFE STAIRCASE into the RAIL DEPOT

[13:39:03] Dave: there are ZOMBIES EVERYWHERE.

[13:39:10] Dave: OH SHIT.

[13:39:32] Jac: I wouldn’t be in the rail depot proper dude, I’d be looking for one of the outer supply sheds

[13:39:37] Jac: or control rooms

[13:39:46] Jac: somewhere where the workers would keep their tools

[13:39:57] Andrew: guys, are you having a breakdown together?

[13:40:07] Dave: ANDREW appears.

[13:40:15] Jac: survival is serious business

[13:40:28] Dave: he guides you to SAFETY, which is incidentally where all the RAILWAYMEN keep their TOOLS

[13:40:35] Jac: ok andrew, you’re getting the skillet and I’m getting a pipewrench

[13:40:45] Dave: you take the PIPEWRENCH

[13:40:51] Andrew: I’m pretty sure I have work to do

[13:40:58] Jac: …I do too

[13:40:59] Dave: ANDREW has learned the power of FRIENDSHIP. His vitals soar

[13:41:24] Dave: YES. you all have WORK to DO to rid the RAILWAY DEPOT of ZOMBIES

[13:43:17] Jac: I create molotov cocktail with alcohol and matches and a torn bit of my undershirt

[13:43:26] Jac: throw down railway tunnel and run

[13:43:34] Jac: the zombie’s clothes should ignite

[13:43:35] Dave: your SHIRT is now 20% more ACTION

[13:43:56] Dave: you lob the MOLOTOV COCKTAIL at the suddenly alert ZOMBIE HORDE

[13:44:00] Dave: roll for LOB

[13:44:04] Jac: 9

[13:44:37] Dave: the COCKTAIL strikes one ZOMBIE in the FOREHEAD and becomes LODGED THERE.

[13:44:45] Dave: it EXPLODES.

[13:45:00] Dave: BURNING DEBRIS fills the AIR

[13:45:08] Jac: we’re long gone


[13:45:20] Jac: zombies can’t run when their leg muscles have third degree burns

[13:45:34] Dave: you get +10 COOL GUY points

[13:45:44] Dave: you earn a new perk: MARK WAHLBERG

[13:46:01] Dave: x10 damage while WALKING AWAY FROM EXPLOSIONS

[13:46:29] Dave: the RAIL DEPOT is saved. the HUMAN MOB is OVERJOYED.

[13:47:12] Jac: (flex)

[13:47:20] Jac: macgyver solves everything

[13:47:54] Dave: the LEADER of the HUMANS approaches you.

[13:48:26] Jac: yeeeeesssss

[13:48:54] Andrew: who are the new attractive people who just came out the meeting room? there are too many attractive people…….following the leader of the humans


[13:49:30] Dave: he offers his hand in an act of FRIENDSHIP

[13:50:17] Jac: I give him an offering of titty mags

[13:50:34] Dave: he receives the TITTY MAGS GLEEFULLY

[13:50:40] Jac: allies are made

[13:50:41] Dave: you gain 2 KARMA points

[13:50:59] Dave: he OFFERS his ENTOURAGE of SISTERWIVES into your PARTY

[13:51:27] Jac: are they trained in the art of zombie combat and macguyverism?

[13:51:34] Dave: they ARE

[13:52:04] Dave: one offers expert training in SASS

[13:52:32] Jac: then I accept his offer of sisterwives

[13:52:44] Jac: we will equip them with pipewrenches

[13:52:55] Dave: you distribute the PIPEWRENCHES

[13:53:28] Dave: the SISTERWIVES batter the LEADER to DEATH with them. Turns out he was kind of a DICK and never ARMED them before. your KARMA soars

[13:53:43] Jac: woot

[13:53:49] Jac: I take back titty mags

[13:54:08] Dave: you receive a TITTY MAG WINDFALL

[13:54:28] Dave: one of the SISTERWIVES has a proposition

[13:54:32] Dave: hear proposition?

[13:54:56] Jac: yes

[13:55:21] Dave: she PROPOSES you all go down to OCEAN TERMINAL for a SHOWDOWN before your LUNCH BREAK ends.

[13:55:38] Jac: sure thing

[13:55:50] Jac: lemme just make sure we’re weapons equipped

[13:55:55] Dave: you are now in OCEAN TERMINAL. it is kind of SHITTY in here.

[13:56:00] Dave: you are armed with PIPEWRENCHES and a RAPIER WIT

[13:56:19] Dave: from the gloom comes a voice

[13:56:26] Dave: “i’ve been expecting you”

[13:56:37] Dave: it is STEVE

[13:56:47] Jac: what does steve want

[13:56:48] Dave: he begins to TALK


[13:57:24] Dave: something about WHISKY and possibly WORLD DOMINATION

[13:57:41] Jac: I set the sisterwives upon him

[13:57:50] Dave: they AGGRESS

[13:57:54] Dave: roll for AGGRESS

[13:58:00] Jac: 14


[13:58:36] Dave: however STEVE is simply too CHARMING and they fall down in a heap of SWOONS.

[13:58:53] Dave: only you, STEVE and ANDREW IF HE IS STILL PLAYING remain.

[13:59:30] Jac: we’re going to hastily construct another molotov, but with aluminum spikes from the scrap metal in the bottle

[13:59:43] Dave: you use MACGYVER SKILLS

[13:59:53] Dave: the MOLOTOV SPIKETAIL is created.

[13:59:59] Dave: STEVE TALKS AGAIN.

[14:00:10] Dave: your WILL TO LIVE depletes violently.

[14:00:20] Jac: I sent andrew out with the skillet

[14:00:36] Dave: ANDREW swings the skillet LISTLESSLY.

[14:00:42] Dave: roll for LISTLESS SWING

[14:00:47] Jac: 10

[14:00:58] Dave: it strikes him upon the KNEECAP.

[14:01:04] Andrew: ANDREW shoots himself

[14:01:10] Jac: damn

[14:01:19] Jac: you don’t even have a gun

[14:01:26] Dave: ANDREW is DEAD. his WILL TO PLAY was too easily DEPLETED.

[14:01:30] Dave: i guess he DID.

[14:01:40] Dave: STEVE is KNEEWOUNDED

[14:01:44] Jac: ok, we’re going to have to use the molotov spiketail now

[14:01:57] Dave: roll to LOB SPIKETAIL.

[14:02:11] Jac: 15

[14:02:25] Dave: the SPIKETAIL SOARS into the air


[14:02:46] Dave: CRITICAL HIT.

[14:02:50] Jac: yaaay

[14:02:54] Dave: STEVE is DEFEATED.

[14:03:29] Dave: retrieve ANDREW’S CORPSE?

[14:03:41] Jac: (cake)

[14:03:42] Jac: nah

[14:03:48] Jac: it’s the apocalypse


[14:04:09] Jac: cool

[14:04:13] Jac: I walk off into sunset

[14:04:27] Andrew: I like a happy ending

[14:04:28] Dave: roll to WALK OFF INTO SUNSET.

[14:04:37] Jac: 6

[14:05:01] Dave: you trip and FALL while WALKING OFF INTO SUNSET. your LEGACY is in TATTERS.

[14:05:32] Dave: THE END.

[14:05:39] Dave: THANK YOU FOR PLAYING.

[14:05:43] Jac: haha, nice

[14:05:52] Andrew: guys that was like an hour

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