He’s back, that tiny Hobbit man who went for a walk but came back invisible. After two quite long movies, the Hobbit trilogy comes to an end with a huge great epic CGI battle that will completely eclipse anything you remember from The Return of the King, yet somehow manages to be less impressive at the same time. This looks like a far darker film than the previous instalments. You like dark don’t you? Dark is basically the same as saying “higher quality” because nothing that’s been happy and bright ever has any emotional resonance. Ever. Peter Jackson is back in the director’s chair for one last time directing an enormous cast that include Martin Freeman, Ian McKellan, Richard Armitage, Benedict Cumberbatch, Evangeline Lilly, Cate Blanchett, Hugo Weaving, Aidan Turner and James Nesbitt. There are loads of other people too, just look at the end of the film. There won’t be a post credits sequence though, so most of you will have no incentive to stay. Don’t you have any respect for all the artists who worked so hard to make this? Apparently not.
The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies is released 12 December 2014 in the UK and 17 December 2014 in the US